The Smile Would Never Leave His Face
by RemusXSirius
Summary: Remus' thoughts after Sirius died RL/SB
1. Chapter 1

The smile would never leave his face. It would stay with him until his body had long passed through the veil. Most of his life was spent smiling or laughing, and that was how Sirius Black had died too.

Remus choked as his heart jumped into his throat. He grabbed Harry to stop him doing what he would wish he had done for years after: following him. He had to keep a brave face for Harry, for he knew that one day he could join his best friend, the love of his life again, and how happy it would make him to once again laugh with Sirius.

Remus remembered back to when they first met on the Hogwarts Express. When he made the best friends anyone could ask for.

He remembered when he had found out that Remus was a werewolf. How he wasn't repulsed by his best friend.

He remembered when Sirius massed the painful act of becoming an animagus, just so he could help Remus when the full moon came around. And the countless times he said it didn't matter when Remus discovered how he had hurt Sirius during the full moon.

He remembered the night Lily and James died. They way he had broken down when he discovered it was Sirius. And the years of denial he went through, trying to figure out how he could do that. How it tore him apart.

He remembered Harry's third year, where the pair were reunited. And the year they spent together after, worrying over Harry together.

And now all he wanted was to follow Sirius through that veil. He wanted to end the pain building up in his chest. He wanted to go back to their days of school, when everything was much simpler. Back when Remus and Sirius were together and happy and nothing else mattered to them.

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**A/N first fanfic, hope its okay **


	2. Chapter 2

After Voldemort disappeared again, Remus felt like he could leave the Ministry, it's not like anyone would notice. Everyone was still crowding around Harry and Dumbledore, not that he minded, better them than him. He disapparated, he went back to Grimauld Place, back to Sirius' room.

For hours he just looked at all of his belongings. Smiling faintly at the muggle girls plastered on the walls, just to annoy his parents. The old Gryffindor scarf lay in the corner, bringing back memories of their school days.

Eyes brimming with tears, he slumped onto the floor. Then a piece of parchment caught his eye. Remus picked it up and saw it was a letter from Lily, attached was a picture of Harry on his toy broomstick. He quickly threw the letter away and buried his face in his hands.

He was sobbing like he'd never sobbed before. Struggling to catch his breath while he was caught up in his thoughts. James, dead, Lily, dead, Sirius, dead. Remus was left alone once again, only this time it felt a million times worse. This time, no one could escape Azkaban and come back to him, there was no one left to come back.

Hours later he dried his eyes and stood up. However, once again something caught his eye. This time it was one of the two-way mirrors they had occasionally used back at school. Remus remembered Sirius saying something about giving the other one to Harry, incase of emergencies. He screamed in frustration. How could he forget that he had the perfect way to contact Sirius? Angry thoughts filled his head and eventually he collapsed onto the unmade bed.

How he wished he wouldn't have to move again. The bed smelt so much like Sirius and it was the closest he could ever get to the real thing. The man he loved was gone and Remus was so sick of this stupid game of life. How come Remus was always given the worst hands yet expected to live with them?

He drifted off into sleep, his face once again stained with tear tracks. When he awoke, he would of course have to leave. Dumbledore would be arriving back here soon, and he still loved the secret of him and Sirius being kept from everyone and wanted it to remain that way.

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**A/N I decided to add another little bit when I was just thinking about Remus which I do quite often**


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